YOUR WAY OUT
appears Venn your
WANTS and NEEDS
converges
Note To Self
The way we approach a problem
determines how we solve it
We all suffer in life.
Some, during childhood. Others periodically, and many, chronically.
The question about suffering is only this:
Do you use it as a victimized EXPLANATION and ALLOW yourself to become passively defeated by it?
OR
Do you use it as intrinsic MOTIVATION, and ENABLE your SELF to grow able to actively defeat IT instead?
The thing is, however:
You cannot apply a stranger’s solutions to your personal problems!
Only through personal experimentation, will you gain:
Personal Experience
Personal Confidence
Personal Okayness
Copy-pasting only makes your life even more frustrating!
Contemplation + Adaptation = Liberation!
Okay okay, hear me out.
Many people suffer from stress, poor sleep, fatigue and chronic pain. This drains our energy and often leads to destructive habits as well as addictions to ie. caffeine, sugar, alcohol or worse, in order to quench and counteract the feeling of depletedness. This external over-use, turns into internal abuse and ruins our quality of sleep, and before you know it, you’re caught in the loop!
When we experience mental bandwidth reduction for a prolonged period of time, our normal rational discipline gets taken over by a feral hunt for solace, through ever growing doses of short-cuts and medicine.
A self-destructive discourse, where the-quicker-the-fix, the-worse-are-the-side-effects.
Quick-loans come with the highest interests though, and mob-like debt collectors are anxiously waiting at the ready to pounce and cash in on your short-sighted self-disenfranchisement.
It is in your own best self-interest, to make energy-loans with the least possible compounding-interests.
Look.
The less bandwidth we have, the more tunnel vision we get, and the larger our discomfort grow.
Our rising internal unrest and unpleasantness, quickly becomes a growth that spreads and spill into more and more areas of our life.
Unbalance in one place, creates imbalances in many places.
This negative loop of shortsighted rewards with delayed consequences, is simply part of life for many people, but is does not have to be this way!
This page contains a few, but very effective techniques for breaking free and regaining control.
The techniques works right away, but sustainable results requires sustained effort, simply from the fact that your body becomes best at what you do the most, and if you’ve been doing something for decades, then it will not be changed over night.
Permanent change takes determination and time.
The best method for getting rid of a “bad” habit, is by replacing it through finesse, instead of removing it through force.
The first step lies in attaching the desired behavioral change, to an existing ritual or act, that is carried out so often that you automatically remind yourself throughout the day. This way, the behavioral-change naturally transforms into a habit, with much less effort than simply applying brute-force by “getting yourself together”.
An example could be, that if you are suffering from stress and “office-dweller-pain” and want to start incorporating ergonomic movements throughout your day, then finding an action with a suitable frequency could be: Sending a lengthy email, finishing a phone-call, before/after attending a meeting, or whatever you do often enough for it to make sense to you. Then associating the action of choice with either three deep belly breaths and/or a small dynamic stretching exercise, could help in getting fresh oxygen to the brain and get the circulation going.
The more pain or the more stressed you feel, the more often or the longer session would be needed, but for most people, a suitable frequency is about once every hour, and then just clocking out mentally for 30-60 seconds. If done half as often, the n the duration should increase exponentially, so if done every two hours, we’re talking 2-4 minutes.
-These numbers are not set in stone, so please experiment over time and see what works for you, but bear in mind that frequency trumps duration and intensity.
A small intensely caring act done often, drastically reduces the requirement of major intensive care later on!
Our focus is on improving our current situation in one specific place, one small step at a time.
Locating the area where you’ll benefit the most with the least amount of applied effort is key, because often we get blindsided by focussing on how to dull our symptoms, instead of how to deal with the cause.
Typically you need to perform the new behavior for about 2 weeks before it starts to grow into a natural part of your daily life, but it depends greatly on what it is that you are trying to change. If it is a life long habit you are trying to change, rest assured that it will take much longer than 2 weeks, but take comfort in that regardless of how long it will take for it to grow subconscious, the benefits start to emerge from the very beginning.
Please remember that all “advice” are general and not relevant for everyone’s unique situation, so please use them as inspiration, and not obligation.
Also, before we begin:
Mental Kung Fu mainly cares about your internal sense of happiness, and not your externally measured fitness achievements.
Happiness is much more satisfactory than fitness, and I will argue to the day that I die, that being happy and in poor shape, is overall much more healthy than being depressed but in great physical shape.
Either way, being happy and feeling free to do what we enjoy should be our utmost priority, instead of focusing on torturing ourselves, to just live longer in agonizing unsatisfactory boredom…
To begin your journey, you simply need to answer this question: “Do I want to get better?”
Make your life so awesome that the pain becomes worth it!
DOING SOMETHING FUN
will make it last
IN THE LONG RUN
You already know [IT]
What ever truths resonate with you
was in you to begin with
You can waste your whole life searching, when you are looking for the wrong things in the wrong places.
A lot of the “advice-tisements” out there, is about making us feel guilty, so that we’ll take action and buy whatever product they are selling. So, here are some observations that are worth keeping in mind, the next time you are just about to PURCHASE YOUR WAY OUT OF something that YOU KNOW TAKES ACTUAL WORK.
A lot of the aspects of growing up and becoming an “adult”, is more and more often about saying no to what’s fun, in order to have time to do what’s boring.
In the end, we feel like hollowed out pumpkins, keeping a little flickering light on, so that the ones around us can keep enjoying themselves.
Well, here are some everyday nice-to-be-aware-of actions, that can prevent you from feeling that you ONLY GET TO DO THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE TO DO, and NEVER ACTUALLY DO THE THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO DO, so that you can start lightening/loosening up again, instead of merely surviving, in a society that focuses more on productivity and longevity, than on living.
Remember: Only YOU have the power to say either YES or NO, and choosing the fun option, is very seldom the wrong action!
Being unhealthy in the short run, can be healthy in the long run, by indulging and curbing your cravings before they mutate!
Eating one ice cream when you actually crave it, can save you from gorging 2 tubs in the evening, when no one’s watching.
Drinking a glass or wine or a beer or two when you really need it, can keep you from going out and going all in, and spare yourself the hangovers.
Putting off a chore to go do something fun, can give you the energy to make the chore seem less of a bore, in the long run!
Prioritizing you self-denying psycho-social mental health over your Self-indulging anti-social cosmetic health, it the highest form of wealth that you can ever bestow onto your Self.
And the happier you feel, the more bandwidth and energy you will have for exercising and mandatory tasks, and the less cravings you will have for pick-me-ups, because you’ll actually feel like you are floating!
Which brings us to some quick observations about “working out”:
Many training regiments focuses mainly on either cardio or hypertrophy, and often as isolated and monotonous as possible “for maximum efficiency”, causing it to be brain-numbingly boring, and having a very low sustainability rate.
Consider these attributes:
When you are Young, you are: Fast, limber, pain-free & careless
As you grow old, you become: Slow, stiff, painful & worrisome
There is ONE SINGLE ACTION that you can take to STOP THE DECAY, and [IT] IS TO PLAY!
–Check out Riot Ball for more!
The only thing you need to do to be able to play freely, this is to overcome your societally endowed self-consciousness, break free and start moving like no one’s watching!
–And don’t worry, everyone is far too busy applying filters to selfies, to pay ANY attention to what you are doing anyways…
Speed, balance, motor-coordination, reaction ability and flexibility.
These attributes are far more important than strength alone, which is the main focus online, because big muscles can easily be appreciated.
-Off course strength is important, but only up until a certain point, and no where near as extreme as what internet influencers would like to have you believe!
It is very simple:
If you can find an activity that you enjoy, which combines some of these elements, then you will be much better off than following a strict training regiment, that makes your free time, feel like prison time.
BECOME SELF-COACHING
and grow
IMPERVIOUS TO POACHING
Setting Your Self Up
Own [IT] and become your own guide
The main reason we look externally for counseling, is because we assume that people with titles, authority and “success”, are in possession of some sort of revelatory super secret “inside-knowledge”, divinely reserved for the specially gifted omni-present-transcendent-self-help-gurus, that are so insightful, that their advise supersedes your own experiences with what works for you, and what does not.
Yeah, well. As it turns out, not so much really…
Having myself wasted oceans of time and money, chasing acclaimed people’s pots of special-sauce at the end of their illusive pay-to-win rainbows, I can safely say that this isn’t the case!
If people say that they can help you, but at a cost. They are not in it to help you, but rather: To profit from your misery.
The top mechanisms for helping you reach your goals through external coaching, rather than on your own, is the notion of ACCOUNTABILITY and SUNKEN COST.
If you have a person waiting for your feedback, and whom you regularly have to demonstrate progress to. You will be inclined to do more/better, than without.
Or:
If you have pissed substantial amounts of money/time into mental/physical-health coaching, improvement-supplements, magic-gadgets, Apps and online courses, you’ll be damned if you don’t hang in there to get your money’s worth, right?!
Well. Here’s how to cash-in and win that game:
First:
Open up an “accomplishment account” with yourself, where you invest whatever amount of money that you would normally have spent on: Reality-Escapism, Procrastination-Products, Online-Bullshit, and whatever else.
Second:
Write down your first simple and realistically attainable short-term goal, and set a deadline for achieving this first step and put it in your calendar with reminders.
-Example: “Tuesday and Thursday I will take a 30 minute outdoor walk after dinner, without my phone, to clear my mind. Every week, for a month”.
Third:
As you reach your part goals along the way (say a month later as per above example), you cash-in on your self-investment in your own success (instead of some online stranger’s profit), and use these savings for treating yourself and celebrating being awesome!
By becoming slightly schizophrenic and detaching from your Self, you can easily become your own successful counsellor.
Remember:
You can always count on your Self to take the easy way out, so make sure that your newly desired behavior, has as little resistance in its way as possible.
Below are some simple examples of where you could start on bettering your condition.
Little knowledge with lots of usage
beats
Lots of knowledge with little use
Sleep
From distracted scheming
to blissful dreaming
Sleep is the foundation of our lives and every healing process in our body.
Poor quality of sleep = Poor quality of life.
We are not the masters of how many hours we actually sleep, and 8 hours in bed does not necessarily equate to 8 hours of quality sleep.
Stress, changing works hours, children, noisy neighbors and a myriad of other things that are outside our control, heavily influences the amount of hours that we get proper sleep, but there are a few things that we can control:
Physically
If we are having trouble settling down and only sleep very lightly, we can reduce the intake of stimulants such as: Caffeine, sugar and alcohol in the hours before going to sleep.
Caffeine affects people very differently, but it has an elimination “half-life” of around 10 hours, and can therefore be an accessory in ruining your deep sleep. If you for instance consume caffeine after 2 pm and go to bed around 10 pm, there is still enough caffeine in your system to affect your ability to get into at least your first deep sleep cycle.
-Furthermore, caffeine also works as a diuretic and can ruin your sleep by waking you up several times through the night, making you go to the bathroom. Also, some drinks such as cola has a pH value similar to stomach acid, which can increase appetite artificially.
The bedroom itself should be: Dark, cool, quiet, well ventilated and without noisy electronics or distracting light-sources such as LED’s or outside light intruding.
If you are sharing your bedroom with small kids or a snoring partner, it can be a very good idea to take turns sleeping in separate rooms.
-Even though you want to be there for your partner, you won’t be able to, if you never get proper sleep.
The most obvious action, but the hardest one to do in practice, is winding down and going to bed at a regular and reasonable hour.
If we finish off by running around, preparing for tomorrow or inundate ourselves with sensory inputs right until we go to bed, it will take a lot longer to settle down, than if we took care of it earlier, and prioritized doing nothing in the time leading up to going to bed.
A good thing one can do, is to disable auto-play in your streaming service, and infinite-scrolling on your phone. This way, you get a stopping cue, and you can perhaps even set an alarm a while before you want to go to bed, so that you have adequate time for making sure that everything is taken care off so you don’t end up laying in bed, wondering if you’ve remembered everything.
If ear-plugs or a sleep-mask is what it takes for you to sleep well, then this is what you do.
There are no substitutes for rejuvenating sleep and it is the very foundation of your whole life.
Mentally
Make sure you empty your mind before going to bed.
A good morning starts the night before.
Prepare what you can for tomorrow morning in advance, and write down what you need to remember, so that you do not end up lying in bed and worry about it.
Remember:
The only thing you should be focusing on when going to bed, is nothing!
When your quality of sleep has begun improving, you can perhaps even set your wake-up alarm a little earlier than normal, so that you have better time for enjoying your morning routine, and don’t start the day off by running around trying to make it out the door on time, just because you want to sleep 10 minutes longer.
A stressful morning affects the rest of the day!
Would you parent a child
like you parent your Self?
Stress
Take a deep breath (or scream)
Some of the most satisfying stress releasing self-caring outlets you can give yourself are:
1: Scream “FUCK!!!” for 12 minutes straight into a pillow.
(Or out the window, if you hate your neighbors).
2: Buy a punching bag and beat the ever living shit out of it.
(Or take a martial arts class if you can find the time, and get a little beaten up yourself as well).
3: Binge your favorite snack and watch your favorite show…
-We both know you’re gonna do it anyways.
(If you want a “clean caloric conscience” after the fact, then “reset” by doing 3 burpees per calorie eaten, or simply don’t give a fuck).
Physicality can often, and way more easily than therapy, help your mentality and save you from a social fatality, practically and free.
Things are only a problem if you (or your closest) believe it is a problem, so simply find a partner-in-crime or hire a good spin doctor.
Haha. I’m joking of course!
-or am I?
Well maybe a bit, so let’s get a little more serious for a minute:
The following techniques work by shifting your body from the sympathetic nervous-system’s stress-response, and into the parasympathetic relaxation-mode. After having performed the exercises, you’ll have naturally “reset” you nervous-system and hopefully you’ll feel socially engaged and more energetic afterwards.
Be aware that the exercises (or rather “inner-cises” if you will), should not be something you become dependent on in order to make it through your day. They are physiological emergency-brakes.
They are like taking headache pills: They do not remove the headache, they just numb you, so that you can carry on, and if you are not careful, you can cause harm to your body if you ignore what it is trying to tell you for too long.
Physically
Stress affects everyone differently, and we all have different triggers that cause our individual stress-responses. Luckily we can regain control ourselves through our breathing.
Here are 2 exercises that are very efficient:
The Small Reset
-For everyday situations where you feel you are about to blow a fuse.
1: STOP. Take a deep breath all the way into your belly and hold it while you tense your core.
2: Put your hands on top of each other on the lower part of your abdomen with the bottom thumb resting in your belly-button.
3: Breathe out and relax completely, while defocusing your vision and looking out to one side, using only your eyes.
4: Now take a new deep breath as slowly as you can, and breathe out completely while sighing, and feel how your hands sink inside your body.
5: Then take 3 “square” breaths where you:
- Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
Finally, relax your entire body, stretch while yawning and shake your body and limbs.
Now you should feel ready again. If not, then repeat step 4 and 5 until you feel relaxed.
The Great Reset
-For when you are totally stressed out and need to pull the plug.
Disclaimer:
You are almost going to pass out during this exercise, so if you have any health-issues, then talk to your doctor before trying it out and NEVER perform it in water or any place else where you can get hurt!
Find a comfortable place where you can lie down undisturbed (like your bedroom) and set your phone to “flight-mode” so that you do not get interrupted. Set a timer for 12 minutes, so that you do not stress over lying there for too long.
Lie down on your back and make yourself comfortable while stretching your entire body, like when going to sleep and try yawning while you empty your mind.
Close your eyes and roll them back and start taking quick and deep breaths, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
1 second in. 1 second out.
As deep as you can, all the way into your abdomen.
Use your front-teeth to press against your lower lip in order to increase the air-pressure when exhaling so that you push the most oxygen into your blood-stream.
It has to make noise!
-The less noise you make, the more you are holding back and the less you’ll get from the exercise.
After about 30-60 deep belly breaths, you should start to feel a tingly/prickly sensation various places in you body, typically in your face around the lips. When this starts to intensify, you then take 3 deep breaths where you hold your breath in the last inhale and tense your core as well as the rest of your body, like you are trying to get up, but stop midway, imagining that you are pressing all the oxygen directly into your brain.
Hold this pressure for about 5 seconds until you feel like you are becoming drowsy, and then gently exhale while you relax completely and melt through the floor, allowing all the different sense impressions rushing past your inner eye to pass through you effortlessly.
Just lay still and enjoy the effect with an empty but curious mind.
-If you fall asleep it’s perfectly fine ; )
Mentally
Many people are way too stressed to get the benefits of meditation, so “The Great Reset” exercise is a fantastic point of origin for afterwards being able to properly meditate.
–An actual “power-nap” is preferable, but since many cannot fall asleep on commando, nor have the time or surroundings for sleeping, this exercise is a nice alternative.
Find a comfortable place where you can lie down undisturbed and set your phone to “flight-mode” so that you do not get interrupted.
Set a timer for 12 minutes, so that you do not stress over lying there for too long.
1: Lay down and stretch your entire body like you are about to sleep and try yawning.
2: Lay your hands on top of each other over your Solar Plexus and feel your heart beating.
3: Close your eyes and roll them back comfortably, like when going to sleep.
4: Now take deep belly breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth, while you think the word “Re-lax”
5: Think: “Reee” while inhaling for 4 seconds.
6: Think: “Laaaxxx” while exhaling for 4 seconds.
7: Breathe and think the words just like this for as long as you need it, where your only focus is feeling your heart and making it beat slower and slower.
After a little while, your ruminating thoughts will give in, and all that is left will be tranquil inner silence and peace.
When you go out of emergency-mode, a simple, effective and enjoyable way of keeping ruminating thoughts at bay, is good-ol’ fashioned analog physical and kinesthetically-pleasing crossword puzzles with paper and pencil.
-Embrace your inner 80-year-old geriatric, and enjoy some off-line leisurely fun!
Here is a fun and playful alternative to classic meditation, where you use your chattery brain against itself:
Find a comfortable position in a safe and quiet location.
Recall a fond memory, like a childhood experience, a family holiday or something else that fills you with joy and excitement.
Try to relive the memory as detailed as possible, where you engage all of your imaginary sensory receptors, by trying to remember the smells, the intricate details in the environment, the emotional expressions on peoples faces, the social interactions, the everything-and-anything you can think off that makes the experience enjoyable.
Many people has a skewed approach to breaks and relaxing, where they try to “performance chill” and relax as much as possible in as short an amount of time as available, but simply saying this self-contradictory approach aloud, should make one realize, that you cannot relax on command.
We also need the proper circumstances to truly relax, so that taking breaks does not end up feeling like just another chore on our active-item-list…
Have you ever found a shortcut
that lasted in the long run?
Suffering
Get moving, it’s soothing!
Our bodies are meant to be in motion, so if you suffer from “office-dweller-pain” in the neck/shoulders/back -region, as well as encounter regular headaches, it is only to be expected from a too sedentary life-style.
Therefore I will present some great and easy exercises, that can be carried out with a small 1 meter staff or a broom-shaft.
–You can also perform the exercises without equipment, but the staff acts a resistor, as well as a physical guide and also serves as a visual reminder throughout the day.
Remember: It is much better to prevent and keep the body active during the day with lots of regular small bursts of ergonomic movement, than letting the body passively wither, and then having to use a lot of time and effort in bringing it back to life, after having gotten agonizing pain.
You can turn the ergo-moves into a habit, by linking them to an existing action that has a suitable daily frequency, so that it does not become unpractical or bothersome. The action of choice could be: Sent email, finished call, meeting, calendar reminder etc.
All the exercises take under 10 seconds each.
Ideally you get through them all, several times during your day.
Remember: One exercise is better than none exercise!
Physically
Focus your breathing while doing the exercises: Inhale for 4 seconds. Exhale for 4 seconds.
Neck:
Turn your head up-down-left-right in a nice and easy pace.
Then roll your head in a circle, where you relax your jaw so that your mouth opens when you face the ceiling. First clockwise. Then counter-clockwise.
Shoulders:
Hold the 1 meter staff with your hands at each end and relax your arms letting them hang down with the staff in front of your thighs.
Rotate the shoulders 3 times backwards, followed by 3 times forwards, kind of like you are rowing a boat.
Then move the staff around your head with the staff as close to the body as possible.
3 times clockwise, and then 3 times counter-clockwise.
Upper back:
Hold the staff in stretched arms with each hand in each end, and lean forward so that your back becomes almost parallel with the floor, and your arms are parallel with your legs.
Now you squeeze the staff as hard as you can with your hands, while pushing them inwards towards each other, while rounding your back. Now gradually change into pulling your hands away from each other, while lifting the staff up to your solar-plexus and arching your back, like you are trying to rip the staff apart with all your might, using all you back-muscles.
Focus on your elbows going from completely stretched and your shoulder-blades being separated, and to becoming completely bent and your shoulder-blades touching each other at the end, while tensing your core.
Perform 3 repetitions.
Lower back:
Stand upright with your feet at shoulder width and your chest out and shoulders back and a natural arch in your back. Place the staff against your spine with one hand at the lumbar-region, so that it touches your tail-bone, between your shoulders and the back of your head.
Tense your core and slowly and focus on maintaining you lumbar arch and lean forward as far as you can without the staff loosing the three points of contact. Slowly return to the starting position and stand upright again.
Repeat 3 times.
Mentally
Headaches can be caused by many things, but if it is caused by muscle tensions, the following exercises can hopefully help:
Self-massage 1:
Look to one side with only your eyes and gently rub the back of your head where your spine-muscles joins the edge of your cranium, using both hands, where you pull outwards gently, like trying to stretch/knead a piece of dough.
Focus on your breathing meanwhile.
4 seconds inhale. 4 seconds exhale.
Massage yourself gently for 30-60 seconds.
Look to the other side and repeat.
Finish off by gently rubbing your temples for 10 seconds, and then “pinch massage” the top of your nose next to your eyes, also for 10 seconds while trying to yawn and finally stretching your entire body like awakening in the morning.
Self-massage 2:
Close your eyes and roll them back, like when going to sleep, and massage your neck-muscles one side at a time using your opposite hand and relaxing as much as you can, for 30-60 seconds on each side.
Focus on your breathing meanwhile.
4 seconds inhale. 4 seconds exhale.
Finish off by tensing your neck by lifting your shoulders up to your ears for 3 seconds while taking a deep breath, and then relax while exhaling completely with a deep sigh.
Repeat the last part 3 times.
Finally: Stretch your entire body like awakening in the morning and try to yawn.
Buddy-massage:
Ask a colleague if they want a massage and perhaps also to return the favor.
-It is both a nice and bonding experience, as well as a good way to remind each other to practice self-care every day.
Sustainability requires balance
between
your input and your output
Sustenance
Unhealthy consumption habits
often stems from unruly emotions
On a basic biochemical level, we humans are “programmed” into seeking comfort in consuming sweet and fatty things whenever we feel sad. We seek the properties of mother’s milk, because the catabolic negative [di]stress hormones, are physiologically neutralized by the anabolic positive reward hormones, that is produced when tasting and metabolizing fast carbohydrates.
Therefore you can almost equate “comfort-eating” with “intuitive self-medication”.
It is no mystery that we are seeing a global obesity pandemic, when we are simultaneously experiencing a global stress/depression/anxiety pandemic as well!
In regards to personal applicability when it comes to general dietary guidelines, it is very hit-or-miss, as you need to account for: Personal preference, personal beliefs, allergies, medical-conditions, activity-level, cooking-motivation and so on and so forth.
-The more relevant any advice is to a few, the more irrelevant it is to many, and vice versa.
There are also often different food preferences within the same household, and very few can muster to keep making as many different meals as there are residents in the long run, so if you want a realistic and sustainable dietary behavioral change, the the number one most important thing is that IT IS SIMPLE AND EASY.
Specific macro- and micro-nutrient based dietary-plans where you count calories, weigh your food and are forced to use ie. 73.5 grams of avocado and 3/4 egg (what about the rest, does this just get thrown out?!), created to satisfy a spreadsheet, is not something that is sustainable in practice, because IT IS NOT PRACTICAL.
The most realistic and practical intervention, always beats the more idealistic and theoretical intention!
-The less invasive the behavioral change is, the higher the chances of success are!
There are some common observations though:
One of the most typical causes of over-eating, is under-eating. Meaning that if too much time passes between meals, we can often end up over-eating because we grow too hungry and then drastically overestimate our food intake needs. This over-eating then furthermore often triggers the feeling of “screw it”, because now “the day is ruined anyways, so I might as well continue”, turning one missed snack-meal into a whole day of binging.
The thing is however, that the body does not run on neither a meal-based, hourly daily or even weekly calorie-budget, that somehow magically “resets” after a given period of time. It is a continuum.
This is however great news, as we do not need to wait until the next Monday to stop going further off the cliff!
If you imagine that you have say a 14 day period to even out any “snack-attack”, instead of having “failed” whatever dieting scheme you are following, then you hopefully become free from the imaginary stress of having to starve yourself the next day, and keep you in the binge/cringe-loop when we inevitably get confronted with reality and “fall in”.
It’s perfectly fine to eat birthday-cake one weekend as long as you just adjust accordingly over the next week.
Having a social-life should be considered a blessing and not something that feels stressing!
The thing is, that the more we deny ourselves what we actually want by making it “forbidden”, or something we can only have on special occasion, the more we then have a tendency to over-eat it when it finally becomes available, regardless whether we actually want it or not. Therefore, an interesting experiment could be to divide the amount you normally over-consume periodically, and divide it out over the days in-between. Like say you only allow yourself to have candy on Fridays, but then go all-in and eat until you feel nauseous. You then take the amount that you normally eat and divide it by 7 days, and have 1/7th of the amount every day during the next couple of weeks, and see what happens.
The calories are the same, so you will not be doing “more damage” than before, but perhaps allowing yourself to have the forbidden fruit every day, will make it less alluring?
Or perhaps it will make you a happier person, allowing yourself to have your favorite thing in moderation every day?
-Only through experimentation will you know.
If we’re talking actual weight-loss advice, then one scenario for a person who is obese (BMI over 30) and moves very little through out the day, could be some simple but general lifestyle changes.
It is actually very doable to loose weight with out changing WHAT you eat, without counting calories and without weighing your food by trying these 3 very simple and intuitive methods:
1: “Mr. T”
At main meals, only eat one portion from a medium-sized plate after the “T” model:
50% Vegetables. (Ie. 25% fruit out of the 50%). This equates to about 2 handfuls.
25% Protein. (Animal products, legumes, lentils etc.). This equates to about 1 handful.
25% Starches. (Potatoes, rice, pasta, bread etc.). This equates to about 1 handful.
2: “Half ‘n Half”
Consume half of what you normally do, and at half the speed.
Then wait for about 20 minutes and see if you are not full. If not, then eat a quarter more.
3: “Often and moderate”
It might sound stupid, but: Eat when you are hungry and don’t eat if you are not hungry.
Only eat when your stomach tells you, and not when some clock dictates it.
This way you never grow extremely hungry, which increases over-eating, and you learn to listen to what your body is telling you, and return to being internally guided instead of being externally controlled.
Losing weight does not have to be complicated, neither technically or practically.
Avoiding major blood sugar fluctuations caused by fast-carbohydrates such as refined sugar, and avoiding becoming hyper-hungry through introducing hearty snack-meals, if you have more than 3-4 hours between main-meals, is very effective.
If you have a tendency for overeating, then try having a healthy snack about 10 minutes before the main-meal’s, because then you’ll already feel halfway full, and limiting oneself now becomes much easier.
As with all general advice, they generally work, and they generally don’t. So if you feel that you need more advice to choose from, then Mental Kung Fu vol. 2 is a treasure trove of dietary advice.
However, if you need specific advice based on your personal situation, then it is best to seek out a well-regarded health professional in your area for face-to-face consultation.
Your mind’s capabilities are easily
incapacitated by distraction
Your body’s possibilities are only
invigorated through action
Strength
The more updated our lives become
the more outdated our bodies feel
We all know that our heart is responsible for pumping the blood around our body, but one thing that gets way less attention, is our lymphatic system. This unsung hero, is a major part of our immune-system, center of our metabolism and is one of the body’s primary mechanisms in fighting and cleaning up after inflammation and disease.
We actually have more lymphatic fluid than blood in our bodies, and the lymphatic system is passive, which means that it relies on the mechanical movements of our joints in order to work properly and pump the fluid around our system. The lymphatic fluid is a clear plasma containing white blood-cells, whose job is to transport waste and dead cells away, and supply nutrients to the various areas of the body.
-An indicator of a poorly functioning lymphatic system, is fluid build-up in the lower legs.
It is no joke that sitting still for one hour, is equated to the same health-detriments as smoking one cigaret!
Imagine an aquarium-tank where the pump is broken and how all the waste just floats around marinating and clogging up the system, when we do not move enough to have it functioning properly. Yikes!
Now I’m not telling you this to scare you, but instead because many people think that “fitness” is not really their “thing”, and don’t see any other alternatives for moving, so they then just sadly end up withering in front of screens.
Luckily there is an unlimited array of possibilities for moving around, and a little movement trumps no movement any day, so even though we cannot run a 5k three times a week, taking a little stroll every now and then, is still infinitely more beneficial than no stroll!
The worst thing we can do to our bodies is NOTHING!
[Re]Discovering the joy of moving, is one of the biggest gifts that we can give ourselves, and it is THE most efficient medicine against ALL kinds of ailments, so finding an activity that we find invigorating and fun, instead of something that feels like just another bothersome duty, is something that will benefit us tremendously not only in the short term, but in the long run as well!
Remember: The time you invest in movement is returned manyfold in enjoyment, through both life-quality as well as quantity.
So whether it is: Team-sport, martial-arts, sailing, dancing or simply taking a walk by yourself in nature, or on the elliptical while listening to a podcast, the most important thing is just that “it” is something that is as appealing and convenient for you, that you do it at least twice a week for the long run. Life is neither a 100 meter sprint nor a Marathon. It is also very seldom just a walk in the park. But the more often you move your body and the more you focus on agility and longevity, your ability to enjoy life itself will blossom and bear fruit, like nothing else you could ever purchase.
Activities in the fresh air of nature is extra good for the soul, but an exercise-bike while watching Netflix is also good, if the alternative is doing nothing. So change your mindset from tediously doing “THE BOTHERSOME THING THAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO”, and over to “THE INVIGORATING THING YOU FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO”, and become a much happier and more energetic person.
-The REAL you, just like when you were frolicking as a child!
If you are looking for some simple guidelines as to what constitutes efficient and versatile training concepts, well I’ve got your back:
Cardiovascular (Heart and metabolism primarily):
Get sweaty and near-out-of-breath for at least 20-30 minutes every 2-3 days, in fun and imaginative ways.
-Run, swim, cycle, dance, play sports or whatever gets your heart pumping, sweat dripping and face smiling!
Strength (Muscle, joints and bone strength primarily):
Do groups of supersets of 2 opposing compound (multi-joint) exercises, for 2 sets of 8-12 reps to failure.
Try to somewhat mirror the planes of your exercises, ie.:
Horizontal push -> Horizontal pull: [Push-up -> Bent over rows]
Vertical push -> Vertical pull: [Military press -> Pull up]
Vary the intensity through either the load/resistance, the angle/axis or the speed/rest proportions of your chosen exercises.
-You can regress (make-easier) or progress (make-harder) any exercise by tuning the above parameters, and there are NO exercises that you HAVE to do!
Or to cut the over-complicated training gibberish:
Perform 10 movements at a time, in varied directions, prioritizing the areas that you feel are holding you back.
Try to warm up for about 5 minutes, incorporate all the different planes of motion in your training, and finish off by stretching and perhaps a body-scanning meditation.
I do as much of my training outdoors as possible throughout the year, but revert to the local gym in the winter time.
You can do whatever tickles your fancy, as long as it is hard and fun at the same time.
Hard means that it’s working.
Fun means that you find it naturally motivating, and increases the likelihood of you continuing into the future.
Remember: Intense torture training that you can only stand for short periods of time, have minuscule lasting health benefits, compared to sensible and enjoyable exercising that you actually do and enjoy regularly, even though the intensity is lower than what the Influencer-of-the-day is peddling.
If you do not think that moving is fun, then fear not, because you just haven’t found YOUR way of doing it yet!
So don’t give up, but try something new, like perhaps seeing if you can get a friend to join you, so that you get to keep each other company, shooting-the-breeze or cracking some jokes. Either way, the reciprocal accountability is both very effective as well as rewarding, both physically and mentally.
Maintaining Dynamic Equilibrium
Is THE SOURCE of energy!
Trade-Off vs. Pay-Off
The oldest battle in the book
Laziness pays off instantly, and hard work only pays off in the (seemingly) distant future.
Well, It’s true!
You could also frame it like this:
Are you willing to accept a guilty consciousness now (including regrets later), for a few measly minutes of sensory pleasure, instead of willfully suffering a few more minutes of agitatedness, followed by the feeling of badass’edness from conquering your Self?!
Hindsight is 20-20, but learning to invoke preemptive hindsight when you are about to embark on the same path to nowhere yet again, becomes a lot easier when you have laid the groundwork for maintaining your mental capacity and hence the foundation for making sound choices, instead of remaining incapacitated by quick-fixes, entrapping you in bound choices.
Instead of the un-nuanced “Just [n]one more!” and “Never/Forever” way of thinking, try to compartmentalize you choices into [Action] and [Consequence] instead:
There are no actions without consequences, and no-action, also have consequences, so whatever you do or don’t do, you will be affected by your choices, or lack thereof.
Some “is [IT] worth it” question examples could be:
“Would I enjoy not spending XX minutes exercising today more, than suffering back-pain all day tomorrow?”
“Would I enjoy binging this tub of ice-cream in 5 minutes more, than suffering the following hours of guilt and calorie-burning needed to “wipe the slate clean”?
“Would I enjoy allowing myself to be sucked down into the rabbit-hole of my tiny pocket-comfort-screen more, than dealing with what ever is making me uncomfortable right now, and actually bettering my situation, instead of running from it and making it worse?”
You get the gist.
Look: You can escape your loops at ANY POINT IN TIME!
There are no good excuses to postpone.
There are no valid reasons to delay.
There is nothing good that comes from procrastinating on making the hard choices that you keep looking for easy-ways-out-of.
In fact, there are entire bullshit-industries built around the concept of feeding you your own tail by, selling you short-cuts, life-hacks and ways of “optimizing” your life, but ask yourself this simple question:
“If what they were selling ACTUALLY worked, wouldn’t they have put themselves out of business ages ago?!”
SO. If you are FINALLY READY to CUT THE CRAP, then there truly is NO WAY BACK.
COME JOIN THE RANKS OF THE MENTAL ONES.
START YOUR JOURNEY OF MAKING LIFE FUN.
WELCOME.
Stop asking yourself: “Do I feel like doing [hard-thing]?” because YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS!
Instead you ask: “DO I WANT TO FEEL BETTER?!” and THEN YOU REPLY WITH ALL THE BONES IN YOUR BODY!
NOW, LET’S ME AND YOU, GO KICK SOME ASS AND:
